War

My friend and I watched a Korean movie 'Tae Guk Gi' yesterday. The story was so so. It's so impressive to me when I think again what is war.
If war is a mean towards a goal. I am sure the goal mustn't be something good. What kind of goal is it to make people die for it??? I am not talking about one or two people, I am talking about one or two or even more millions of people.
War or the same race is pathetic. We speak the same language and we are of the same race. Kinship? Brotherhood? Family? I don't know which word is appropriate to describe the linkage. No matter what, we share something. Is it necessary for the laymen to die for certain believes?

I sincerely do hope China and Taiwan will never have to declare war.

Afternoon luxury=Dine in Indian food (delicious obviously)+ pay no attention to figure again+ with my best friend of 15 years What a fruitful day!  

Luxury= Dine in big breakfast (obviously) at 8:30am when I have to reach the school at 9am+ pay no attention to figure+ The only casual wear while others were in suits and high heels  

Karina in Britain

fucked up fucked up and fucked up

Once you received your adult ID, please put down what you have learnt from school. Welcome to the adulthood. Time for you to pick up another set of rules.
No matter how brilliant the history was, history IS history. Try your very best not to be annoyed.
No matter how stupid the rules are, rules ARE rules. You just follow it. Save the energy for arguing against them. At least when you deal with the HK government.

Where did you last try something for the first time? One

In order to fulfill one of my goals, I read a lot of books recently. I read a book called 'The happiness six years' (The first and second pics) when I was on the bus to Central. I could barely hold my tears while I was reading it.  I have never been touched so much in my life.
The book is a Japanese mother's diary, dedicated to her Down's Syndrome son, 'autumn snow'. He was diagnosed 'couldn't live longer than 12 months'. However, with the love of his parents, teachers and doctors, autumn snow passed away at the age of six.
What touched me most is her attitude. She loves him as a whole. She didn't love him less or reserve her love for he's not a perfect, or just, normal kid. She knew that her beloved son might leave her at any moment and yet, she filled his short little life with love and wonderful experiences.
Living in such a fast globalizing world, do we know where's our stance? Do we simply follow the trend or, do we know what we are doing and why we do that? Explanation is the glamorous clothes of cover.  Be honest to your feeling and safeguard your stance.
I have seen love and courage in this Japanese mother. She followed her heart and has her stance. Though the result was not of her desire, she didn't betray her feelings. She wasn't controlled by the situation, she proactively controlled it.
Her son is the luckiest little guy in the world. He has experienced love and courage from his parents, which many people can't, don't or haven't experienced in their lives. His short visit has not only enlightened his parents, but also a HK reader.

Applause? Slap?

After reading my friend's blog about scam, I would like to add a remark.
According to Cambridge dictionary, scam means 'An illegal plan of making money.'.
Online scam is advanced level scam. I myself came across elementary level scam. Luckily I never get corned.
Causeway Bay of HK is a very popular place for elementary level scam. Since I was 18, people keep coming over and said 'Oh! This T-shirt is cute (which you can buy it in local chain clothes shop like Giodano, Bossini) and it fits u so much! (too tight?), where did u get it?'   
' Wow! The very first moment you hear about that 'compliment', your ego dances! (My broad shoulders, my plumpy body and my elephant legs had received a lot of compliments these years.) Then they will keep on saying 'Oh! My company is hiring a fitting model. Are you interested? The payment is very attractive ......' blah blah blah.........
If you haven't woken up from the illusion, you will fall into the trap easily. Once you go with them, they will say you have to receive some trainings before they can offer you a job. Then you say goodbye to your money before you receive any.
Regardless of the levels, scam catches your weaknesses and attacks. It can be greed it can be fame. It remains me of a movie, Seven......
I remember a poet said, 'Applause is the massage for your ego'. Be careful that applause becomes the slap......

My defeated leg

During the summer holiday, we teachers are reborn and able to enjoy some social gatherings. With the increased amount of spare time, I suddenly realized many of my friends are suffering some, to a different extent, imbalance in their lives. I named this disease 'defeated legs'.
Life is a table. A missing or shortened leg(s) surely don't harm your daily life. What I mean daily means day time. Under the bright sun, we are gladiators. We are strong enough to support the broken table. (Or are we too busy to pay attention to the broken leg?) Once you have your spare moment to calm down, relax and think (nights?), gosh, it's really something......
Usually we don't break the legs ourselves. Either the legs break themselves or are destroyed by some forces. The worst of all, the other legs declare war themselves. It's a bit tiring to decorate your table of life while at the same time, to maintain the legs.
Since we were kids, we were taught that your effort will be rewarded, or at least, appreciated. I don't care about the reward or appreciation. But please, don't simply come and hit my legs.
I remembered Georgia of Ally McBeal said,' What makes your problems bigger than others?'. This is the only button to switch off my emotion and put me into sleep.
 

Who's the boss?

TVB has launched a new paid TV channel. The promotion staff knocked the door. Here was the situation:
 
Outside the gate: The promoters blah blah blah
The other side of the gate: Karina in pajamas+ dinner was ready+ my dad was murmuring
 
I then told them to come back in 30 mins as I have to discuss with my family. They really did come back. After I have told them we were not interested, she told me that I could make the decision if I really wanted to join. Though I am not interested either, the whole stuff puts me into a deeper thought.  
Well, it maybe too much to use the word 'boss'. Why should I waste the time to tell them that 'We have to discuss it first before we decide'? I am the one who paid the bill literally and I know they don't want to join, why didn't I turn them down at the very beginning? Don't know how to say no? That's the very first thought.  

After I have thought about the whole stuff while I was watching 'Queer eyes for the straight guy', I asked myself 'Was I that coward to turn them down?' Maybe at the very first moment, Yes. Then I realized it's my usual practice. Whenever wherever whatever (Pick one) it comes to my family, I don't/dare not/can't/am not allowed (just pick one again) to decide by my own will. It was OK when I was a kid; it sounds weird when I began to grow up. I don't wanna mention the long story of what I have been through. It did create some bad influences to my character. I am so used to give excuses or say no, whenever stuff touches the borderline of 'family'.
 
That's really something I have to work on.

Comments

I chatted with a friend on the ICQ yesterday. We talked about family burden. I told him that he had too many 'guy's concern'. During the little discussion, he corrected my comment.
It's not the first time I was told that I am too judgemental and make comments without thinking carefully. I wondered if I am so poor in hiding my 'fox tail' or it's so easy to be seen. No one sends me such a comment in my daily life but I received more than once in my daily cyber life. What makes such a difference? What does it imply?
I guess I am not as good as I thought in receiving messages by word. Life is easier when I can see your eyes and gestures. Or people don't, or dare not express themselves face to face?

I work therefore I am

Holiday started. I lived my life just like a pig. Here is my rountine:

Wake up--->breakfast--->sleep again--->some TV--->sleep--->tuition--->home--->sleep

It was the ideal life when I was longing for my holiday 10 days ago. Now I get what I wanted and so?
I am thinking whether I am suffering from 'Chinese disease'. Chinese are often praised(?) as hard working. I am very hard working. So hard working that I don't know who I am besides my work. A philosopher said 'I think therefore I am'. In my case, it will be 'I work therefore I am'.My holiday means a pause of my working cycle and I don't know who I am. Get a balance between work and play is something I have to learn.

Re: Quarterlife crisis

As I read the blog suggested by Nirmalya, I learnt the term 'Quarter-life crisis'. It reminded me the counselling sessions I had when I was in the university.

Once I started my university studies, I felt like my old world was breaking. I thought once I entered the university, the goal was not far. Sorry lady, it's a start rather than an end. I could only say Thank you very much to the ones who told me my goal was not far, when I am dealing with my problems behind the door secretly ......

I was so fed up by myself to the extent that I blamed myself for everything. From my own poor grade to my tuition students' poor grade. I thought I were Jesus Christ :P. Thus I went to see the free counselling service of the university. I realized my problems, confessed to myself, accepted them and faced them directly. It sounded like cliche but it worked on me.

I hope that this remark helps.

Episode 1: Beauty in Tang Dynasty

Though I didn't get good grade in my AL Chinese History, I am very very interested in Chinese History. One of my areas of interest is costume. Read the page Beauty in Tang Dynasty and see if you dare to wear the costume today?

Men and women

I was putting on the cream on my legs while I was watching 'Extreme Makeover'. I had a fight with my dad again. Parents and children do share some common interests like fishing, travelling. I guess for my dad and I, the one must be arguing.

Back to the road, I am responsible for my dry skin as I don't live a normal life. I ruined the gift they had prepared for me when I was born. I waxed my legs until the skin is, as my father described, 'as dry as a dead old man'.

Then I re-realized the fact that people, I am not sure whether it's solely men, do set criteria for women to follow, even you two are very close......

This negative reinforcement put me in my shell tonight.

Furious anger

I reached home and had an exploding headache. What even worse was that my uncle and aunt whom I met for twice in my life came for the third visit.

A formula is the best illustration of my situation:
Karina = Full set of work clothes + warm and welcoming fair lady-like smile + appropriate topics + exploding head + tired + sleepy

My uncle and aunt are holy christians. Actually they are missionaries. So you know what the topics will be. Thanks for the training I received in secondary school. I managed to entertain them before I swore 'When will you two get the hell out of here?'

King uncle and Queen aunt were more than happy with the visit and thus granted us a box of pineapple cake.

Here come the anger.

My dad and mom had at least 3 packs of the cake together. Both of them have high blood pressure and cholestrol level. To the extent then they had to be hospitalized before. They always remindme that they worked so hard until they were no longer healthy. See what they had done to themselves. Thank you very much.

I went to bed with my furious burning mood last night.

And I decided not to take any of their words seriously......

Busy before 35

I read and article from Jessica, a local Marie Claire or Cosmopolitan. It was about 70 things women can do or must do before the age of 35. I did the checklisting when I was reading it. I deleted some which I think are not applicable and 63 were left. See if I can finish what I set for myself before 35......

Karina and the food musuem

I took my students to the food musuem today. It's quite far away from my school and thus, we had to take a journey that had given me a big carsick before I knew anything about food of mankind.

The visit was OK. The so-called musuem was a bit too small. There were a lot of pots and plates from different countries like Egypt, Middle East and China. Varieties of coffee and tea were introduced too! I must say I admire the creativity of the Mongolian as they invented a very funny yet practical pot to make skimmed milk tea!!! What a health- concerning race!

After the visit came the real stuff---chocolate making! All my students longed for this 'special' event since they arrived. I sat with my boys. (A very good proof of opposite sex attraction works for all age!) One of my favourite boys made, a volcano I would say, rather than a piece of chocolate. We all had a good laugh for the chocolate we made. TOO bad I didn't bring my DC.

My students promised me to send me the pics they had taken but I only received one......

Sinful sinful sinful

I always do self contradictory things......

I had had a piece of delicious fatty blue-berry cheese cake before I worked out hard this afternoon.

I spent a lot after I have promised myself to save money.

I remembered the last literature course I have taken in my beloved university, twentieth century fiction. We deconstruct some norms and believes before we can build up the new order. Do I have to put more fat in my tummy before I finally 're-realize' the urge to
lose weight? Do I have to wait until I receive the credit card statement before I finally 're-realize' I am nobody except a big pile of clothes, bracelets, earrings and skincare products?

A super strong belief must be presented in order to help me to skip the deconstruction step and jump to the new order building step......

Rainy day......

It was the graduation ceremony. I was a bit pissed off as my help was not appreciated. Anyway, shouldn't be bothered by such trivial stuff.

I gave tuition today. Re-realize a very important quality of mine. Really like the idea 'You never know if you never try'.

I feel gooood!

What a wonderful and exciting night! A must to write it down!

Super hot

It is the reunion day of HKSAR. To me, it's just an extra holiday. This extra holiday is a headache day for the government as there was a demonstration. The organization body claimed more than 510,000 went demostration under the hot sun.

As my father usually says, politics is a dirty game. The further you stay away the better.